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It’s not who I am underneath but what I do that defines me

Bisexuality is romantic or sexual attraction to both males and females. The American Psychological Association states that “sexual orientation falls along a continuum. In other words, someone does not have to be exclusively homosexual or heterosexual, but can feel varying degrees of both. Sexual orientation develops across a person’s lifetime–different people realize at different points in their lives that they are heterosexual, bisexual or homosexual.”

Picture from cosmopolitan

Gender is a construct.

Bisexual people do no fall in love with gender, rather they fall in love with the personality. I guess, that is the biggest difference being a bi and straight. But all of us still discriminate bisexual people based on their philosophy of love.

There are various myths attached to bisexuality.

  • Myth: One of the most common myth is bisexuality does not really exist. It is the mind set of people about themselves.  

Reality: Some believe goes through a transitional phase in order to adopt being a lesbian or gay. Whereas some remains bisexuality for a longer orientation. They are at times confused about their orientation. But it definitely exists.

  • Myth: These people are actually heterosexual in nature but are in return trying to act cool or experiment with their orientation.

Reality: Whether an individual is an experimenting heterosexual or a bisexual depends on how s/he defines her/himself, rather than on some external standard. While there certainly are people for whom bisexual behaviour is trendy, this does not negate the people who come to a bisexual identity amidst pain and confusion and claim it with pride.

  • Myth: People who consider themselves bisexuals are actually lesbian/gay, but haven’t fully accepted themselves.

Reality: Bisexuality is a legitimate sexual orientation. Many bisexuals are completely out of the closet, but not on the lesbian/gay community’s terms. In this regard, it is worth noting that many lesbians and gay men are not completely out of the closet and their process is generally respected.

  • Myth: Bisexual people have lovers of both sexes at the same time.

Reality: Most bisexuals are primarily attracted to either men or women, but do not deny the lesser attraction, whether or not they act on it. Some bisexuals are never sexual with women, or men, or either. Bisexuals are people who can have lovers of either sex, not people who must have lovers of both sexes. Some bisexual people may have concurrent lovers, but bisexuals do not need to be with both sexes in order to feel fulfilled.

Picture from shutterstock

I know people who are bisexual and you know their worst fear is – fear of being judged and not accepted in the society. Often people now-a-days strike left on Tinder until they find people who identify themselves as bi because they don’t feel they have the capacity to be a good partner in the mindset of their partner. They prefer striking right for people who are bi just like them, because it’s only with bisexual partners they can showcase the fluidity of their orientation and be themselves fully.

In contemporary culture, being bisexual is often much more accepted for women than for men. Women are allowed to admit to hooking up with other women more freely and it doesn’t carry as much stigma. Not always so for men. The patriarchy has an incredibly difficult time accepting male sexual fluidity.

My question to all of you is….

If we are not bisexual can we not love them for who they are inside? Is it that they always have to love the people who are bisexual themselves to understand their sexual fluidity?

Love isn’t about gender. The basic idea in romanticism is that reason cannot explain everything. Labels like “bisexual,” “gay,” “lesbian,” are created by homosexual society to separate or alienate these people. Everyone is unique and different in the way they love.

Source: unsplash

It’s not who they love matters, rather how they love defines them.

Read my next blog on bullying.


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